Montana Yoga Project

Day One Hundred came and went like any other day, but in my mind and spirit I felt VICTORIOUS!  I did it.  I set my mind to something and I accomplished it – I met my goal – I never gave up – I never gave in and as a result I have experienced abundant joy and incredible peace.

Here’s the ‘breakdown’ of the last few months…

In 100 days I have done:

• 19 classes at Bikram Yoga Bozeman

• 1 class at Bikram Yoga Missoula

• 1 class at Perfect Balance Yoga in Billings

• 1 class at Feathered Pipe Ranch in Helena

• 6 classes to my Barkan Method DVD

• 52 Bikram classes to my iPod

I have:

• Lost 13 pounds and 11 inches

• Quit Smoking! (yay for me!)

• Developed a new ‘career path’ and charitable  organization.

• Created a new way of ‘BEING’ in the world.

So many people have helped me along the way I MUST acknowledge them:

‘My Girls’…(Shannon, Kathy, Jackie, Jesse, Rachel, Virginia, Kelly, and Allison) for coming with me to classes, for never-ending encouragement, for giddy laughs and big hugs. I love each and every one of you so much!

Suzanne Shanelac – without you, I probably wouldn’t even be in Montana.

Blair Williams, for your enthusiasm and expertise. I’m so thankful for all your input!

Kyle, for researching and introducing me to ‘The Barkan Method’ – the Universe truly conspired to bring you into my life.

Marc, for creating a beautiful Website to help me share my Journey. (and for being soooo patient with my lack of ‘skills’)

Tammy and Allison for helping me ‘edit’ my words…(without the two of you there would be MANY more capital letters and ellipses)

Autumn, for taking beautiful photos and handing them straight over for me to do with them whatever I wanted!

All the teachers and students at Bikram Yoga Bozeman, for all the encouragement and support.

Mike Swingley, for always knowing my ’20′.

Community Bible Church in Jordan Montana, and Shauna Clark of the Rimrock Plaza in Winnett, for offering space to allow me to teach classes when I get back from training.

Sue McKinna, for being my ‘first donation’!

My wonderful Massage clients for promising to come to my Hot Yoga classes!

All of my FaceBook friends that have offered encouraging ‘comments’ throughout my challenge.

My Family, for listening to me go on and on about my YOGA…(even though ‘cowboys’ don’t do Yoga)

My life is filled with Peace and Love because of ALL of you!

Namaste, Nic.

Day 99 I am in Bozeman at my ‘home away from home’ studio.  The ride down is beautiful and serene and I am being followed down by good friend Christy to join me for class.  I am always excited to bring new people to ‘hot yoga’ – Christy has practiced before, but it’s been about 5 years, so I give her my normal ‘dis-claimer’ before class.  “Christy, let me just tell you. It’s F&%#ing hot in there.  So, when your mind starts fighting with you, saying ‘why in the world are you still in here??!! It’s SOOOOO HOT!’… just breathe, look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, SELF, Nicky said it was going to be hot. remember? so chill. We’re staying here.  That’s all you need to do, just thank yourself that you have a happy, healthy body that can DO Yoga”.  Christy is glad for the reminder, and teacher Sara adds…”also, Sunday morning 9am is NOT the hottest class anyway”.  (True Sara, but I’ve brought many a ‘tough cookie’  that were pissed at me after class for not accurately describing  Bikram’s Torture Chamber to them!) … I just like my friends to be prepared.

Christy did great.

I on the other hand, I had a very difficult class as my left knee DISLOCATED during Toe Stand.  Yep… Dislocated… First time that’s happened since a complete reconstruction 5 years ago.  I was able to keep the scream inside my chest, tumbled down on my hip, and held back tears as I contemplated the choices I had:  1) I could leave class, drive to the nearest convenience store and pack my knee with ice while I drove back to Helena, defeated. 2)  I could just lay down for the entire rest of the class and try to meditate my knee back to health . or 3) I could run out to my car, grab the Ace Bandage that I always keep in my glove compartment and wrap my knee up tightly and return to class – one problem…(the teachers in Bozeman ABSOLUTELY do NOT want you to leave the room during class) – I turned to Sara with tears in my eyes and she graciously came over to me, moved her mic away from her mouth and asked how I was.  Sara told me to take the 2 minute Savasana and then sneak out to the car and return to class.

Why my knee dislocated is a Medical explanation that is too complicated to give here, but the simple truth is… I was pushing too hard.  I was showing off to my friend Christy, I was showing off to the new teacher Sara, I was showing off to the hot guy standing next to me, and ultimately, I was ‘dis-obeying’ my own body.  I’ve NEVER done Toe Stand on my left knee.  I know better than that.  But, I REALLY, REALLY wanted to do it.  So, I did, and that is what happened.  I hurt myself.  and… I hurt my Yoga.

After I exited for a minute to wrap up my knee  I finished the rest of  class (carefully).  I thanked my mind  for allowing me to remain peaceful in the face of adversity and I apologized to my body for pushing it too hard.

What a lesson the day before the end of my challenge…

Namaste, Nic.

PS – Bikram always says… ‘you can mess with the world, but you can’t mess with the knees’.  Apparently I’d forgotten that.

My amazing Grandpa, Harley Garbani

Day 9…

Yet again.. The power and wisdom of the universe has bestowed on me a beautiful gift… of forgiveness and self-realization…

How beautiful it is to have GRACE.

When I began this process of my 60-day Bikram challenge I KNEW in my heart of hearts that it would change my WHOLE life – EVERY aspect, and tonight, after my floor postures and a talk with my Grandfather, a three-year ‘problem’ has had light shed on it and a ‘resolution’ has presented itself.  To open the door to ask forgiveness of a friend and former colleague and to in turn forgive myself for a transgression that has weighed heavy on my heart for so long… Thank you Grandpa, and thank you Universe.

In regards to my yoga practice…I think I figured out a way to accomplish my goal, and to stay focused. Today I did the standing series after a short warm-up at the gym… there is SOMETHING about doing the postures in the presence of others…even if they are not practicing with me.  Something about a group energy that allows me to stay focused – to… as Bikram would say…”STUGGLE HARDER”…

It was a good standing series, and after a meeting in between, I cam home to a ‘warm’ living room and did the floor series with my Kitty cat, Diego, as my witness….

I will say this…after my weekend of hiking, and a double class in the studio yesterday….

MY ASS IS SORE!

No other way to put it…

Namaste, Nic.

Sunday… Day 8

Outline of how my week went.

Started out with a great class in Bozeman and my BFF to cheer me on for my Day ONE.  Day two, three, and four were less than stellar as I could NOT get my living room heated past 75 degrees… ended up just doing standing series all three days…Day five was better!  My dear friend Kyle drove all the way from Great Falls to bring me an infrared space heater… That got the living room up to almost 90 degrees!  Day six got away from me, and I skipped altogether… NOT GOOD – Day was almost a disaster… let me put it this way… DRUNK BIKRAM = NOT GOOD…

Hiked mount Helena with my friend Kathy, and then we ‘rewarded ourselves’ by going out to lunch and having ONE glass of wine (well… honestly, one and a half..) anyway…

I was WASTED!!! How did that happen???!!!  Well, I took myself home, started the heating process of the house, and promptly fell asleep on the couch for two hours!

Woke up grumpy and achy already from the hike and the poison I ingested…

At 8:30 pm I forced myself to get started… only got through the first three standing postures and then fast-forwarded to the floor series… Felt like a certifiable LOSER…..

BUT….

Oh halleluiah!  Day 8…

OMG… Day 8 was a revelation!   I drove down to Bozeman for the 9am class with my friend Kathy.  My intention was to do TWO classes today, so I figured I’d take it easy in the first class, but I have to say… I felt so damn good, that I had the best class I’ve had in a loooooong time.  Some of my postures saw intensity that I haven’t been able to produce since the days of 27 years old and daily practice at my ‘home’ studio in Santa Barbara!  Then Kathy left and I had to wait for an hour to take the second class… I find it best if you speak your intentions out loud to others as a way of … #1. Making the intention clear.  #2. Fostering support from others  – and most importantly…#3 if others know… you can’t back out!!!

So, as soon as the next teacher arrived, I promptly blurted out “Tavis! I’m doing two classes today!”

WOW!  Second class was even better!

Then… I cam home and slept for 13 hours…

Namaste, Nic.